A Semester In Review...A Life Short-Lived

So it's almost over...a semester of Connor's State College. I have a few regrets, but I can't be sure that they're truly regrets until after I get my final grades. It wasn't as ridiculously easy as I thought it would be. I was challenged a couple times and even had to defend what I believe in once or twice. Oddly enough, I did most of my belief defending in the class I enjoyed the most and made the best grades in. Mr. Stauffer is a stubborn man and I pray that someday he will see that someone created us and allows us to live on this ball of chemicals we call Earth, and that eternal life is real and is something we all are born with and are made to choose where we will spend that life. Mrs. Wimber is also in need of a reality check, but not of a religious kind. I made it through a whole semester with her and found that she's not a very kind woman. Sometimes it seems that she doesn't want us to pass her class just so she can see us again and call us stupid...maybe not, but she's quite cruel either way and my poor girlfriend has to take the same class next semester. Who knows, she may be the one to put her in her place...someone needs to. I sold all of my books, except one, back today. I don't know if you've ever experienced this feeling, but I firmly believe that everyone should before they die. I'll break it down for you. You hate books, they love books. You don't want the book, they do. You would give the book away without thinking twice, they want to pay for it. You win.

There's one person I graduated with that didn't go to college, and I've found myself thinking a lot about Mellisa lately. I don't know exactly why, but I have and I miss her a lot. I think about her every time I hear "May Angels Lead You In" by Jimmy Eat World. We weren't as close as wish we could have been, but we were close. I wanted to post something on her Myspace page the other day and realized that I never had the chance to add her as a friend...so I couldn't. I didn't make a Myspace until a long time after she passed. So, I suppose I'll do the next best thing and write something here...

Dear Melissa, I miss you. It seems like just the other day I was sitting there in band watching you mess around with the rest of the percussion section, yelling at Ken like you always did. I don't know how many chances I had to talk to you more and learn more about what a special person you were, but I regret not taking every last one of them. I love how you always spoke your mind and never cared what someone might say back, it didn't matter anyway...you were right, they wrong...always. A lot of people never really gave you a chance to be a friend at all. I'm glad I wasn't like that, and I'm sure they wish there weren't. I remember all the times I'd come to "the spot" after lunch to find you playing your guitar, like always. You were pretty good ya know? You had a talent for music that not many could match. You used to write me notes in Ms. Stratton's English class...ya, Ordeal By Sea really was kinda lame. Talking to you about religion and whatever we could think of was much more interesting. We must have done that almost every day that year, and we never got caught...or maybe Ms. Stratton just knew we'd pass the tests anyway. I'm going to find some of those notes later... I remember one in particular where you told me that you liked me, and I guess we never really were the same after that. I'm sorry for that. I should've just been honest and told you that I didn't have the same feelings. Maybe then we could've still talked as much as we used to. It's one of many regrets I have, but it's alright, someday I'll speak to you again and make things right. You always were a little competitive and in my opinion you were more likely to beat me for drum major than Matt was. People liked you and would listen to you if you told them what to do, that was an edge we shared. Band camp just wasn't right without you that summer. I went mostly to show that we could get past your death and have a good season, it was an example that I hoped to set. We did have a good season, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. We were strong in percussion, but it wasn't a Mellisa Reed percussion section. Nobody played your snare that year, nobody tried. They knew we'd be willing to shoot them on sight if they looked at it wrong. I didn't get my wish, we didn't put it on the sideline for the halftime show...but I know you were watching, and I hope you were proud. Until we jam in heaven, I'll always miss you Mellisa. Band nerds for life...

-Curt

I drive by the place where Alex, Luke, and I wrecked all the time. It's a constant reminder that life is fragile and should be treated that way. What happened to Mellisa was not fair by any means. If you don't know her and didn't have the chance of being touched by her life, than I hope that her death will at least be a reminder to you that we don't get to decide when our lives end. Always remember that life is short and you should make the most of it.

Take a chance. Do something worth remembering. Live like Mellisa did.

Mellisa Dawn Reed



May Angels Lead You In...